didn't it rain

This is more like it. Today it rained, almost all day, and it was wonderful. There is a dogmatic conformity here to the notion that the blindingly sunny, 85 degree days in the middle of January are what count as "good weather," one of of the many things that make this place so wonderful. I've been resisting my own resistance to this myth, but this is not good weather. One friend described my inclination towards Colorado weather - which can only be described as involving a series of intense climates in rapid succession, as if in a political revolution - as similar to being in an abusive relationship. I reject this, because it still relies on some unthinking 'sun = good' logic.

The sun here feels like it is right on your face, that it is burning its way through your skin, attempting to render you helpless against everything, especially thought. I can't think in this heat (a problem especially for graduate school). Too many days start out foggy, with friendly clouds trying to offer us protection, only to be eviscerated by the Irvine sun that respects nothing. The worst part is seeing people bounce along, seemingly not noticing this or any other kind of violence.

On a related note, the other day I was traveling back from LA in the middle of the night not completely sober and with the air conditioning on when I ran into roadwork that forced me through a detour through La Mirada or some equally faceless part of southern California. I've come to understand Irvine and the more urban parts of LA, at least in the 'contingent' ways that are possible, but the areas in between, as Los Angles fades into Orange county, escape me. It truly feels like nowhere made into a place. One imagines oneself as if a character in a video game, that makes a running motion when controlled to move in a certain direction. Only in this case one has been directed into a dead end, and no pushing on the wall reveals a secret passageway to the next level. So you face a wall, more or less helpless, while still making a running motion.

At least it's raining.